I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
