so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
