Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
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I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
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Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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