On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
