Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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