...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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