Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize