wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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