my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
