isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize