Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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