at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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