She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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