At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I wish there were birth control emojis
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
