i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
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