Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
