All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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