If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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