Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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