Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We got so high we made milksteak
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
