I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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