I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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