Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
