After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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