Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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