Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
