belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
