i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
