90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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