Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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