physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I understand Curling. That high.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
