But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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