Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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