Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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