I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize