anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
