Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
where are my eyebrows?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
