Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
