I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
