Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
