well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am