2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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