cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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