Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Did I show you my penis last night?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
