At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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