is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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