she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize