great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
