She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
