Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
