I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize