Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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