I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
