I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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