I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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