she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize